May 31, 1999
Study Butte, Texas, USA

12:40am. I’m mellowed-out on the couch, listenin’ to Pasty Cline.

This morning, on top of Bee Mountain, I woke up under a hot sun at 8:30am and missed the opportunity to shoot in the dim golden light at sunrise; however, I did get a couple shots of cactus and unusual picture of a full moon over the Chihuahuan desert.

Richard and Anne already are in bed. We’re goin’ ridin’ in the mornin’.

9am. Richard, Anne and I are cruising toward the Chisos for a hike. Richard arrived at work a half hour late, so his boss told him to take the day off. The boss was upset because other employees didn’t show up for work either. There were a lot of dudes waiting to go on a ride. "I don’t care if I get paid," said Richard. "I see you need help and I’m here now anyway." The man was angry and wanted Richard to leave. "I have no clocks in my house," Richard explained, but still the man refused is help.

We jumped back into the truck. "I will not be punished for my anger... I will be punished by my anger." said Richard. "That’s an ancient Buddhist proverb."

11:39am. "I am not feeling very safe about this..." said Richard.
"Safety is no accident..." Anne assured him, then began preparing the safety materials.

"You know.... Anne.... I think you need to know how much I appreciate and admire your ability to prepare the safety materials," complimented Richard, watching her with great satisfaction.
"Richard, please keep your eyes on the road," I requested.
"Today would be a good day to die." he responded. "’Hoka hey!’ That’s an ancient Native American saying. It’s is not meant in a morbid sense; it means, " If it is my time to go, this would be a nice day to leave.’"

11:55pm. Filling water jugs at Panther Junction, Anne said to me, "You remember filling the toilet water tank at the palapa?"
"Yeah, I love thinking back to those days. It was like summer camp."
"It was better than summer camp. We had sex, drugs and rock roll."

12:06pm. "Satori!!! - that’s the shit!" exclaimed Richard spontaneously, sharing his excitement for living in the moment. "It’s the crest of the wave!"

1:03pm. We are in the basin, at the Window lookout point. It is much cooler at this elevation-- several hundred feet above the desert floor.

Richard is speaking about freedom, standing on top of the wall over-looking the window. He cracks me up. A minute ago he was singing, "You are a big tree... but I am a small axe!," then he stopped, put his hands together as if to pray, bowed and said, "All apologies and reverence to you Standing Nation. It’s just an analogy."

1:11pm. Anne just asked if we wanted a safety meeting before doing the passes.
"Sounds good..." I said. "I’d like to hit the herb with Robin Williams. That’d be a laugh. I bet a lot of famous actors get high, even on screen."
"No, it’s not likely they’d be so successful if they did," returned Richard, serious in tone. "Once you ingest a dangerous narcotic like marijuana... it’s all over! It’s like worms eating your brain from the inside out!"

"Whatever I resist... persists!" says Richard. "That’s one of the universal laws. I believe the other ones are: ’you can’t keep it unless you give it away’ and ’less is more.’ Those are paradoxes too."

"Attraction rather than promotion," Richard advised me is the best way to get a message out and make positive change.

This morning, Anne bought me two bean and cheese burritos at Miss Stacy’s. I didn’t ask her to, she just did. This afternoon, she purchased a patch at the park store and gave it to me to sew on my back pack. Her generosity is inspirational.

June 1, 1999
Study Butte, Texas, USA

Richard and Anne are sitting at the the kitchen table. I’m laying on the couch, filled with omelette, blue corn chips, a Snickers bar, Ice cream and THC.

A few minutes ago, Richard was talking about "The Great Mother," and I said, "I wish I could have confirmation that God exists," so I can have %100 faith.
"Be careful what you ask for..." Richard cautioned.