October 10, 2002
Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada

Hello again C,
I would like nothing better than to find you a gig down here. Actually, I'd maybe like one thing better. To be able to stream of consciousness to you in e-mails like you do for me. But I am not able to because of insecurity and awkwardness to format. So maybe I'd like to do that. But you know what I'd maybe like to do more? Go to sleep. Yes, I think I'd like that ever so much more. But you know what I think I'd like even more than that? To stay awake. I guess I've started. Thinking, that is. Yeah... I'm gonna try my damndest to get you a gig (or two) because I want to see your world-famous slide show myself. I haven't, you know. Oh yeah, you knew. And I think it's totally cool to make the impact you do, as you know it. And I know it. But I only wear corduroy. I made a new friend today. Her name is Rebecca. She likes my poetry. She has 9 brothers and sisters. She is Baptist. She draws, is an artist. She is quite a special person. There are so many hidden special people in the world - i tell you, i would have never known. Never known.
Okay, so like, back to your gig? I'm sorry, I am pervasively tired. Please let me know of a time frame during which you may visit me and my special friends to enlighten. I should kno so i can plan around it. Maybe I'll practice my beat reading and read you some when you arrive. I will someday read it so well... I really love my Beat poetry. I feel sad that no one around here knows what it is. Or takes the effort to understand it or me. Yet, I stand alone. ...I wrote a poem about this too.
...I'm going to make a video about beatniks. I'm going to write a script. And it's going to have music. And it's going to be so beautiful. Gray, fall afternoon, coolness and loneliness, cigarettes and sorrow, buttons and shadows. Beautiful sloooow jazz music. Perversion. Dirt. Black. Skin. Swallow. White. "Let me see your eyes." Gray. "No." Close off. "And she cried there under that unfeeling night sky for her real name, Lucille, and how the man slumbering next to her would never know it."

Peace love and poetry Carrie/kenneth

3pm

Ken... I just got this email:

dude, the stuff that u've done is all great..and you are a great inspirer(sp??) but anywho..i was just wondering how you are able to do this? cuz you need money and all..maybe it said how u do it on you web page, but i just skimmed it cuz a chick in a club that im in sed that u'd might come to visit us...so yeah. i was just wondering...

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I said:

Howdy friend...

I do it one day at a time... I'm focused...and going by the seat of my pants. I make money doing my shows and kayak guiding. I get deals on things and make due with little... living off the land... spearing fish, using junk... whatever.

Have fun!
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I'm guessing that was you who inspired this?

Yesterday Tom and I were driving the the cliff to climb, and I was reading to him from on the road. It's his book. He's so excited about it. He's often saying how he and I are just like Sal and Dean with our lust for life. He loves how Jack respects anyone, doctor or bum, who is jazzed about life, always ready to have a ripp raoring good time... going on the fly... curiuous about everything! I'd only read bits of the book, and some of his other work, but I know what he is talkking about, and want to live it. My friend Leanne digs it. She's reading on the road, and living it too! I'm sure Jack has inspired hords of folk to hit the road in search of the wild unknown.

I'm sitting here with my harness on, having just got down from the tree house. Gotta get some work done: setting up shows, finding sponsors and updating the site. Last night at O'learys I saw a girl with long pig tails and I told a girl friend, "see that girl-- I could be friends with her." So I walked over the to girl and said "I don't know if we've met, but we could be friends." As it turned out, we did meet before, back when I was 18, on my first little 3 day kayak trip, I landed on Mispec beach to find Suzy with her brother and her boy friend. I took them climbing, then hung with them in Toronto where they live. Suzy is just down visiting her grand parents. I'm going to pick her up at five for a paddle. Never be fearfull to say hello to someone. Who knows where it will lead. However, I did hug my friend Amy last night, and her boy friend flipped on me saying, "people tell me you're a homosexual. Is that true?" I said I wasn't and wasn't going to be confrontational with him, so he should just be cool. "What are doing asking for my girl's namber?" he asked bug eyed. I said she's my friend and I was inviting her to a bonfire. What a loser. I don't know how she can stay with him. So insecure.

Anyway, thanks for the late night insights. I've got a show in Vermont on Nov 13th, so I could be in your hood between the 17th and the 22nd. Thanks for your help!