Febuary 14, 2003
Austin, Texas, USA

9:58pm. Today I organized journals into categories listed in the library and realized how weird it is what I'm doing: this huge-ass self propelled homework assignment that is my life. This afternoon, Seed turned me on to anacam.com, where a lady shows her life through web cams 24/7, charging a viewer fee for "full access" and using the attention to sell her paintings. "This chick is really weird," I thought to myself, but then it occurred to me that what I do is not so different... openly exposing almost everything I do and think... and that is weird, but I choose not to live in fear, so I'm not worried... although that may be naive and I should be.

I've been shooting video to put on the site, but I have yet to figure out how to make financially sustainable. I still owe my server $150 for the past year's service. If every person who regularly looked this site sent just $5 bucks that wouldn't be a problem and I could afford to do so much more. You reading this... please pay for this service. It is not free. Think of it as a magazine subscription or a cable bill. It will make you feel good and you'll see where your money goes. I've have some tough luck lately with the Dragonfly spaceship getting broken into and slide projection gear stolen, along with money, backpack, tent, Leatherman tool, etc,... and then replacing the clutch cost $770USD... so I really do need help. I want to be back in my kayak paddling south in a few weeks... so please help make that happen. Sob story... no; I'm very happy, but this art/info project that I share freely costs money that I don't have and I want to make it work and you can help. It's easy with VISA using my secure server, or you can mail funds to the MAX @ School bank account.

If you have socially, spiritually or environmentally significant information or insight to share with the world, sent it to be posted in the journal. Almost 3000 different visitors are on the site each week... so it will be seen.

So... what is worth knowing? What is worth doing? Tomorrow I'm going to a huge war protest at the Capital, then I'll check out the free art school hosted by the Rhizome Collective. Check their site: www.rhizomecollective.org


Hey darling,

Out of fear of terrorist attacks and anticipation of the biggest protest I've ever been a part of, I wanted to write you again. Tomorrow, February 15, there's a great big protest in NYC. Have you heard? Hundreds of thousands are expected. Everyone I know is going... my brother and his girlfriend, all my friends... my MOM even jumped on the boat tonight! It should be great fun and great feeling... I hope to meet and interview a lot of superb people. It'll be cold, it'll be crowded, and it'll probably be a little uneasy, but it's something I've been waiting to be a part of for months. This is what I really want to do right now. I am no longer a bit afraid of making my voice heard. Finally my country will get the chance to listen to me before judging me. Finally.

And I read Seed's Jan 28th journal entry. I think I'm going to adapt some of those slogans she posted for my own community sign-making event tonight. Seed's style of writing astounded me. Her words flowed so easily to me; her writing structure so similar to mine. I've never related in writing style to someone so closely. It was a transcendant moment, when I realized Seed's words could have been mine.

As for tomorrow, wish me luck, warmth and no terrorist attacks!

Love and hope for peace,
Carrie/kenneth